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| So I stepped up to order a number 3 breakfast meal at Mcdonald's and ask for OJ instead of coffee.
[Me]: Can I have some ketchup please?
[Lady at register]: Would you like grape or strawberry? I mean...
Gotta love Monday mornings! | | |
| Okay, in this entry, I am going to examine the issue of "nice things."
Well, you might ask: what's wrong with nice things? What is wrong with savoring exquisite french delicacies or lathering up with organic, dermatologist recommended body wash? It must be fine for people to indulge their interests, right? For example, some people love cars. I remember going to Hot Import Nights with Austin and Art. It was an exhibition of pimped out, highly customized and blingin' cars with neon flashing lights and girls flashing more than they really ought. But hey! Why not spend the extra hundreds, thousands of dollars and paying more than your actually car is worth to fulfill that hobby or obsession or whatever you want to call it. If you look at Headfi, there are people like me who are obsessed with sound quality. The mids aren't liquid enough, there's a slight grain in the upper frequencies, nono, the bass is eye-blinking in impact but too loose or bloated. Thus, the only remedy is to upgrade or buy more gear: better cables, better source components, rip at 320kbps minimum, get tubes in your headphone amplifier.
Why not get the best? I think my mom warned me of this, and honestly lately I haven't been heeding that warning at all. Of course I want the best. And it's of course that curse also of where you've had better, sometimes it's psychologically impossible for us to go back. I can't have Hershey's after tasting a Godiva truffle. I can't use Walgreen's brand mouth wash over Listerine. I refuse to buy those non-brand clothes. I must have DKNY, Banana Republic, Diesel... Fruit of the loom? Never! Only Calvin Klein is going to hug my precious.
It's absolutely ridiculous sometimes that I honestly won't buy something at the grocery store or many other stores just because it's price is lower. Somehow in my mind that becomes associated as lower quality, unbranded and untrustworthy. You'd think that after the time spent at my internship looking at all these companies and their business models and strategies that I would understand that much of the price is coming from perceived benefits rather than the actual. And even if the quality is better, is it really 10 times better, as the price suggests? Ha, and now the important question. If it really is ten times better, can I honestly afford to finance such a lifestyle where luxuries are a necessity at every turn? Obviously, the answer is no. And it's not even only about me and what I can get for myself or even my family. What about my tithes and offerings to the church. What about giving to missionaries and charities? I thought I had this money thing pinned down, but it keeps creeping back up on me, quietly ensnaring me. Grr... econ and budget constraints. Money and this world. So concerned with appearance, with the external display. Even health, supposedly an internal thing is very much marketed towards our outwards appearance. These organic lotions are better for your skin, and make them more vibrant. These are nutritious foods and exercise are good for you, oh and by the way, you can look as sexy as _______ <-- insert celebrity. And I still have trouble accepting that many girls get plastic surgery for their high school graduation gift from their parents.
Lord, help me take these worlds apart. I need to find value in things that truly matter, and to invest more of my time and resources there rather than pamper myself. God, I know you look at the heart and not at the external acts and show we put on. I need more of this quality as well.
Of course you guys might have other thoughts and maybe downright disagree, but this is what rings true for me right now. I don't exactly have a solution, but I wonder for however many of you who actually read my xanga if any of this echoes in your consciences.
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| Sometimes other people's words do a better job of expressing what we feel.
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's only me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone
Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
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| Never Give Up, Never Surrender.
It's the fight. And it's not always clear which is more noble. To know
when to call it quits, or to press on and fail again and again until
you get it right. I know I'm not cut out to be a ballerina or a nuclear
scientist, even if I tried my butt off. But yet, if it's something I
think I want, shouldn't I stick it out?
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| funny how clubs are like unplanned TAS reunions...
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